"You look like Howie Day"

-that's how it started.

The one thing i've learned while trying to make it in this town, is the fact that people end up surprising you. I'm not going to lie or try to make it sound glorious, i'm just going to lay it on thick, because the truth is... it usually isn't for the better. Nobody is ever ready for a surprise. Not the kind that i'm talking about. The kind that tear you in two, and leave you restless and unsettled. Nobody is ever ready for that, and why should we be? We live our lives each day constantly juggling to keep things in balance, and the second we drop something (or "someone" drops us) our world suddenly changes to a foggy haze of gray.


I'm sure you could say that this is a learning experience. That we all should just pick our pieces back up, find our balance and then continue to move on...but what if for this one time we don't want to balance, but we want to actually feel the urgency of things slipping away? The worst part of life is having to say goodbyes with out even realizing it's time for you to leave. Leaving a place or a person with out any real closure. I think God makes moments like that on purpose to try and make it easier on us, so while whatever it is that's happening, we wont feel it as much. The time we seem to notice it is usually days, months, even years later, but never while it's actually happening. We can consider this a blessing and a curse, mainly because the worst feeling is waking up one day and realizing the people who surround you aren't the same faces you used to care for. That the people in your life are merely placeholders for the hope of someone better to still come.


The best way to deal with this kind of surprise is to realize that it's actually happened, let yourself feel whatever it is you may be feeling, and then move on. Lingering never helps, it only lets loneliness ride on your shoulders. Today it might be a surprise but tomorrow you will have known, so no more excuses. Live up to what ever it is, and in my case hope that one day you'll get another surprise from this same person, only this time for the better. Hope that one day while we're not expecting it, we'll play like Howie Day and Collide.



P.S. I don't think you look like him anymore.